I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
