TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
