just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
