Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
