I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sext me about skeletons
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
