I'm really into asian looking animals
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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