More tranny stories later!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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