I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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