I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
