I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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