halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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