whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
