my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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