whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
