Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Randomize