And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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