you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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