so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
