He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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