Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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