Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
