Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
