So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
