Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
