Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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