Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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