were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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