Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize