just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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