I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
