i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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