so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
