..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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