erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
