his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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