ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
