Define "chronic" masturbator.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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