Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
