What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
