even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
