so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
