Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
