She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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