Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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