I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
