we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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