we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
