Porn is love you can see.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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