How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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