Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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