batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
