am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
