the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
