Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
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