Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
