Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
