what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You're a disaster
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