You're my little dorito
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
