Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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